Chapter 14/

I tried to smile, really.
I waited for the hands in my watch to click in place, for free period to really start. When all the doors of the classes will fling open, and you can definitely expect some girls' cackle over the new losers and some guys' shouts over the home team.
Typical.
I waited for a few more minutes, reliving the bathroom incident. My cheeks started to burn and I quickly rummaged my bag for anything at all to stop anyone that's about to see me looking like a puffed-up red tomato. Not that I haven't had enough today.
The big clock that hung above me roared to chimes as the clock turns two. The doors, inevitably, flings open, all in sync, and people came pouring out, a big smile on their faces as I started to feel like I'm about to pass out.
This is the moment where Adam would probably be standing right next to me, saying, "Hey, you made it!" and twists the knob to my favorite fantasy place - The Dance Room. And then we'd tango and do everything there is to do - I mean dancing - and get off with a, "Can I have your phone number?" and I'll give it to him. And then, maybe, set on some sparks.
Heh, we'll never know.
*
Free period.
Dance.
Delia.
Shoot.
I grabbed my books and hugged it lightly against my buffed up chest, walking out of the class towards my locker. There is dance practice now, and I've told Delia to meet me there, only if she wanted to.
And again, I stopped myself from thinking too deeply. Right in the bottom of my heart, I just know she's not going to show up. I feel like I was going to gag, because I've set up that expectation. I...wanted to see her, SO BADLY.

This is my honest truth: I've never actually admired a girl. So I know zilch about it.

And I was set right then and there that I knew she just wasn't going to show up. I was walking to the canteen to grab a smoothie before dance class, when Mr. Heldon stops me.

"Young man,would you care help me to sort out some stuffs for a while?" he was walking towards me, his palms - by the look of it - sweaty as he vigorously tries to fix the position of his tie. As he neared me, I could hear him mutter, Could never get the tie tied!

"So, whadyou' say?" He asks again, sighed dramatically, and lands his hands into his pants' pocket. Immediately I hunched. And everything in my head was knocked out.

"Uhh, sure. What again?"

"Just help me carry a few books, and give them out to the students." He takes his palms out and rubs them together, while doing a clucking sound. "See, I'm pretty busy lately with some...projects." He said it like it was something else. Even if it was, I'd not want to know about it. I've seen him flirting with Ms. Jan, once! But I swear, I could never ever allow myself to see that again.

He eyes me suspiciously when he realizes that my attention had flied somewhere else. And with a snap of his finger, I came back. I didn't hear whatever he just said - probably an excuse of why he was so 'busy - but who cared? I just wanted to get it done.

And anyway, it wouldn't hurt.

Delia won't even be there, and this won't take long.

*

This is taking forever. My forehead starts to sweat as I see the same people walking in and out of the classroom, each time with another item in their hands - be it their cellphones, a big lipstick for display, or sometimes for a guy, a slim and hot girl.

Eww.

They seemed to take notice of me after a while, when at the period on which they came in and out of their respective location, they see me standing there like a statue. I wonder if the dumb students would think the principal had recently carved out a statue right outside the dance club for no apparent reason.

I'm not having a good time. But then again, as being an overly optimistic and perky person -who'm I kidding?- I decided to look at the bright side.

Though there isn't any.

1. He's probably in the toilet, having a constipation emergency. Erm, suddenly, I couldn't imagine him doing that, being such a hottie and all.
2. He's, planning to get more CDs that we can dance to.
3. Well, he's lost?
4. He's a celebrity, get him out of there!
5. He's in detention - and leaves me alone to wait.
6. This is the most logical one - he's purchasing a fake plastic ring, made into this multi-faceted diamond ring and is about to propose once again, since the last one backfired.
7. He's suddenly in love with The Simpsons and is running down the alleyway to get some privacy to watch that sick ugly yellow cartoon whom think of himself as a LEGENDARY CARTOON on his iPod.
8. He's betrothed and has eloped, even though I've just seen him a couple of hours ago.
9. He met Denise Richards and is head-over-heels over her, and is willing to listen to Denise'...eccentric laughter.
10. He's GAY!!!

Okay, that's my top 10 reasons, but as I thought again, none of them seemed likely. Except the one that he's going to propose me. I looked at the clock above me. My hands are getting tired of holding my bag of change, and my tank top suddenly feels like a century old, sunk in the sea with the Titanic, got discovered and was auctioned. Yeah, I felt that old. Funny how Adam can manipulate my life's perspective.

My life is going crazy at the moment. Okay, yeah, Adam's handsome with his high cheekbones and prominent eyes and oh my gosh his lips and - but anyway, it doesn't make me want to like him. Maybe, he was a casanova with loads of girls on his phonebook he never called back after he slept with them.

(Or again, he's gay.)

I have no problem with people being homosexual, seriously. I just, it's not possible for Adam to really be gay. He's so...fit for a girl to hold in his arms. It was like the length, the sculpture, the toned arms were meant and BORNED to hold someone.

Nonetheless, I might not be his One. Or otherwise. I might be too boyish for him, or too ugly or too sensitive or fragile or weak or shy or timid for him. You know, all the negatives. Or the positives like, my flat stomach was too flat for him.

Well, that didn't make sense.

Either way, I cannot like him. Not until I'm 28, freckled, fat and ugly, then could I think of a term called 'marriage'. And then I'll adopt a kid because then Adam would still be handsome and will probably be forced to marry me because I might be a millionaire by then and is intimidated by my unpleasant-looking genes and does not want his child to have my features.

That is my vow.

And I couldn't take it any longer any more! It's been, what? 15 minutes? We had 15 more minutes together, what use would it make? We would probably just warm up, and the fifteen minutes would be up. And Enrique Iglesias' voice might still not be finished with his super long song. No, that seemed more of MJ's songs.

And people say, it's fate.

So maybe, this isn't. And it's not like I'm liking him now. It wouldn't hurt, right?

And with that, I sucked in a handful of air (and choked), and proudly, walked out of there, while deep inside, feeling a stab of fresh pain with every step I take.

But I chose to ignore it.

*

Finally giving out the last two Maths books to a couple of losers with an IQ of 0, I walked out and is striding while humming to MJ's tune. I had about 15 more minutes, but I could do a lot.

There's the 2 minutes warm up routine, 5 minutes give-it-your-best-dance routine, 7 minutes of practicing the last dance routine and the rest for the Delia-and-Adam-to-talk routine. And -

Okay, I was hoping she'd come, alright? It's very normal. I'm a boy with hormones that grows outrageously, but only known to be 'outrageous' after meeting the gladiator-height-slender-looking-lady with the eyes of a goddess.

I walked faster upon thinking that and I thought about how I could decrease the time of warm-up and increase the time of chit-chat and began rolling my shoulders up and down so I could save some precious time. It's not like I was in love with her, not yet I guess.

Anyway, my mind was giving me mixed signals like, You shouldn't go in or Do it, idiot! like I was some sad, sick and miserable puppy. Like they were a puff of air, I blew them off. But I did promise myself that if anything were to happen, it'd be fate. And I do believe in fate, because if I don't, what else is there that I could believe in?

Not love, definitely.

Or the 'sparks', too.

Just fate.

And turns out, when I rounded the corner to the Dance Class room, she was nowhere in sight. I pretended it was just an illusion caused by my hyperactive brain, so I walked closer. But I still couldn't find her.

I looked right and left.

Zero.

And then, maybe, I hoped I haven't made the promise to myself 3 seconds ago, because I felt like it couldn't be fate.

Fate couldn't be that cruel.